heartskipsabeat

Can you please stop being such a baby? Thanks.

What happens when you’re stuck between your first love, and the guy that’s given you the world? I can’t take this emotional pain anymore, so why does he keep putting me through it? I’m sick and tired of it…

I thought that when you’re in a committed relationship with someone that the christmas is split up evenly.
My mother in law hates me, therefore its hard to spend time with my fiance of all people. Naps are being taken which makes my grandma moody cause she’s hungry. i just wanna restart today. Fuck christmas.

I think it’s time that I’m gonna have to start writing on Tumblr again, cause this is the only thing that he doesn’t have access too. I know that may sound mean, but i need some privacy.  I’m a girl, I definitely need it.   Shits been getting to hard lately, and I need somewhere to write it all down.   Maybe a new Tumblr is in need so I can keep track on my daily life…  I even write in a journal anymore because he wants to read it. Shit’s just wonderful anyways.

So, what basically triggered this writing breakdown is the fact of I’m talking to my ex Jonathan again.. I know, I know talking to your ex doesn’t work, but immah try.  I never stopped loving him. He was my first for everything. You never lose feelings for that.  But at the same time, he did some pretty horrible shit to me that I will never forgive him for.  But it’s nice knowing that he kinda gives a shit.  However, he could just be acting like a typical male and leading me on like he did in the first place.

I need a girls night. Definitely. I know this is going from subject to subject but I have a lot stirring around in my already jam packed head that I can’t concentrate on just one thing.  Jesus murphey, this isn’t gonna end well. I seriously see a severe breakdown happening really damn soon.   UGGGGH.

On the bright side though writing, well typing, actually seems to be helping. I think I should just start doing this more.  I need a clear head. Wish I could go for a walk, but it’s raining and I have school in the morning.   NOT to mention the fact that Roger would be down my ass assuming that somethings wrong with me as always.  And if I mention to him that I just need some time apart, oh god. I’m not even gonna GOOOOO there.

Well, that’s it for tonight Tumblr.   Thanks for not judging me. <3

You know, I wish it was true… One day. Soon. I promise <3

I seriously hate how you ALWAYS find a way back into my life. I don’t want you anymore.

I hate how everyone’s outside enjoying this gorgeous weather, and I’m stuck at home, alone.   
This always seems to happen :/